Isla de la Plata: Island of shit
“Fisherman hundreds of years ago saw this island glistening with streaks of silver in the sun and named it, “Isla de La Plata,” Island of Silver.
It wasn’t until they landed on this little island that they would find out that the precious shining silver streaks were not silver, but historical collections of white bird shit.
The Poor Man’s Galapagos was our fix for wanting to keep our trip simple while also appeasing those pesky post-vacation questions, “Oh, you went to Ecuador, did you see the Galapagos?” With this trip, we could answer we most certainly did. The question, though, made it seem as if a trip to the Galapagos wasn't a $500 flight from the mainland, 700 miles from the coast, with its own multi-day hotel/hostel and adventure logistics. It made it seem as if Ecuador has nothing else to offer - which is certainly does, from ‘waves every day’ surf towns to rainforest adventures - there is plenty of Ecuador to appreciate outside of Darwin’s coves. Of course, I am certain the Galapagos is a true “must see,” based on 6th grade biology class and every guidebook. Maybe one day I will create that itinerary to see it, however, for now, our Poor Man’s $45 day trip, via a 45 minute boat ride, that set sail 45 minutes from our coastal surf town would have to do.
We arrived to the island completely unprepared for the dusty mountainous tour. Our hostel day trip arranger, Jay, told us all about the great snacks aboard the vessel, particularly telling us about the delicious watermelon at least three times. We arrived to the island in sandals and snorkel attire because Jay omitted the fact that, in addition to having an appetite, we also needed shoes for hiking. We would later learn that Jay was a huge stoner, which likely contributed to his snack centric view of the trip.
In reality, the island tour was all about shit and boobies. As we shuffled uphill in our sandals, we learned that the island was located between the mainland and the actual Galapagos. It was a stopping point for the birds to rest, lay eggs, and shit. They shit on the sides of the mountains while in flight and they shit in perfect circles around their nests. They shit where they wanted and they shit strategically. This island captured it all.
In particular, Isla de la Plata was famous for the wide variety of boobies that transit through it. There were brown footed boobies, blue footed boobies, yellow footed boobies, and of course, our Ecuadorian tour guide’s favorite, Peruvian boobies. The slights by our guide against Peru were restrained considering the Ecuador/Peru rivalry stems from repeated territorial disputes and wars (notes & notes). Deaths and battles meant it was not exactly at the same level as a friendly college rivalry.
“Look at that loser couple,” our tour guide pointed to a pair of boobies hiding in the brush with pale blue feet. Like a trip to the regular Galapagos, we learned about booby evolution and matings preferences. For example, the blue footed boobies that have the bluest feet get the most attention from potential mates because the blue hue comes from a shrimpy sea creature they eat - the bluer the feet, the better hunter they must be. Our loser couple not only had pale feet, but also had not produced any eggs, contributing more too their loser category, according to the guide.
We also came across a nicely blue footed mom and its giant baby with white feet. It made no sense that this baby bird was so giant, but the guide had no explanation. The guide was happy to have a small group of tourists that spoke English and we shared jokes in broken English-Spanish that made the German couple in our group continue to stare without any signs of amusement. In additional to knowledge of boobies, he also provided a bit of Ecuadorian rap history by noting that we had to check out the 1998 song ¨El Gato Volador¨ (The Flying Cat) by El Chombo once we had signal. It is quite the song.
Before we side stepped and slid in our sandals back down the hill to return to the boat, we saw the beautiful views of turquoise waves crashing on the dark brown rocks splattered with white. Although Darwin might have skipped over the Poor Man version of his research islands, it was still an experience worth at least $45.
It wasn’t until they landed on this little island that they would find out that the precious shining silver streaks were not silver, but historical collections of white bird shit.
The Poor Man’s Galapagos was our fix for wanting to keep our trip simple while also appeasing those pesky post-vacation questions, “Oh, you went to Ecuador, did you see the Galapagos?” With this trip, we could answer we most certainly did. The question, though, made it seem as if a trip to the Galapagos wasn't a $500 flight from the mainland, 700 miles from the coast, with its own multi-day hotel/hostel and adventure logistics. It made it seem as if Ecuador has nothing else to offer - which is certainly does, from ‘waves every day’ surf towns to rainforest adventures - there is plenty of Ecuador to appreciate outside of Darwin’s coves. Of course, I am certain the Galapagos is a true “must see,” based on 6th grade biology class and every guidebook. Maybe one day I will create that itinerary to see it, however, for now, our Poor Man’s $45 day trip, via a 45 minute boat ride, that set sail 45 minutes from our coastal surf town would have to do.
We arrived to the island completely unprepared for the dusty mountainous tour. Our hostel day trip arranger, Jay, told us all about the great snacks aboard the vessel, particularly telling us about the delicious watermelon at least three times. We arrived to the island in sandals and snorkel attire because Jay omitted the fact that, in addition to having an appetite, we also needed shoes for hiking. We would later learn that Jay was a huge stoner, which likely contributed to his snack centric view of the trip.
In reality, the island tour was all about shit and boobies. As we shuffled uphill in our sandals, we learned that the island was located between the mainland and the actual Galapagos. It was a stopping point for the birds to rest, lay eggs, and shit. They shit on the sides of the mountains while in flight and they shit in perfect circles around their nests. They shit where they wanted and they shit strategically. This island captured it all.
In particular, Isla de la Plata was famous for the wide variety of boobies that transit through it. There were brown footed boobies, blue footed boobies, yellow footed boobies, and of course, our Ecuadorian tour guide’s favorite, Peruvian boobies. The slights by our guide against Peru were restrained considering the Ecuador/Peru rivalry stems from repeated territorial disputes and wars (notes & notes). Deaths and battles meant it was not exactly at the same level as a friendly college rivalry.
“Look at that loser couple,” our tour guide pointed to a pair of boobies hiding in the brush with pale blue feet. Like a trip to the regular Galapagos, we learned about booby evolution and matings preferences. For example, the blue footed boobies that have the bluest feet get the most attention from potential mates because the blue hue comes from a shrimpy sea creature they eat - the bluer the feet, the better hunter they must be. Our loser couple not only had pale feet, but also had not produced any eggs, contributing more too their loser category, according to the guide.
We also came across a nicely blue footed mom and its giant baby with white feet. It made no sense that this baby bird was so giant, but the guide had no explanation. The guide was happy to have a small group of tourists that spoke English and we shared jokes in broken English-Spanish that made the German couple in our group continue to stare without any signs of amusement. In additional to knowledge of boobies, he also provided a bit of Ecuadorian rap history by noting that we had to check out the 1998 song ¨El Gato Volador¨ (The Flying Cat) by El Chombo once we had signal. It is quite the song.
Before we side stepped and slid in our sandals back down the hill to return to the boat, we saw the beautiful views of turquoise waves crashing on the dark brown rocks splattered with white. Although Darwin might have skipped over the Poor Man version of his research islands, it was still an experience worth at least $45.
(White circles of bird shit and also smatterings of shit)
(The loser couple)
(Mother and awkwardly large child)
